Strokes, like other catastrophic incidences, can wreak havoc in the lives of individuals as well as their families and extended social webs. Some of the most difficult things for individuals and families to work through are the often-radical changes that present themselves after a stroke, which affect the person’s physiological, psychological, and spiritual spheres. In more extreme cases, the victim can appear to be someone totally different than he/she was prior to the stroke. Although this event and the resulting fallout is devastating for both the individual as well as family and friends, the good news of Jesus Christ speaks loud and clear into the midst of the sin and suffering.
My own relationship with God and the lessons I have learned and am still learning form the basis for the lenses through which I would begin to conceptualize George and his situation. Knowing that the challenges George currently faces affects his family, I would want to include them in as much of the counseling process as possible. Initially, I would like to take a positive approach to the situation. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, while ineffective in that God is largely absent, does have some merits; at the same time, I am not advocating ‘the power of positive thinking”. By refocusing at the outset on the good things that are happening in George’s life, family, and beyond, will allow the counseling to be more Christocentric from the outset.
At the risk of sounding simplistic, I praise God for His intervention in George’s life, and that of his family. I am certain that God is at work in this situation, tugging at the allegiances that rule the hearts of all involved (including mine). As to the physical issues, George has had significant victory in overcoming his temporary paralysis, and seems to be making headway regarding the expressive aphasia suffered from the stroke. While the family has expressed that “all that seems to be left is his fallenness”, I am thankful for George’s heart, that he has expressed the desire to follow the footsteps of His Savior, and that he is willing to continue his devotional schedule even though it takes him longer to work through it than it did before the stroke. Praise God that George still goes out to church, as well as to do volunteer work, and that his family does recognize this as a positive thing.
I am thankful that his family has not deserted him, but rather is willing to seek counsel in this tough time. Moreover, George and his family are part of a church community that seems to be supportive of George and the family seeking further help and guidance. In addition, I am humbled that God has seen fit to use me to walk alongside George and his family in the midst of this hardship. My hope and goal in voicing these observations would be to encourage George, Sarah, and their children, by helping them to see that God is present in the midst of this struggle, and to reorient them in a God-ward direction.
George is both a sinner and a sufferer. As such, his current condition presents many difficulties regarding the interpretation of his behavior in light of his recent stroke. He is not the same as he was before the stroke; this may be obvious, but he, as well as his family, must contend with these changes. Therefore, one must take into consideration both the physical and spiritual accidentals. The lines between the two are rather blurred, which has many repercussions for counseling in respect to how to deal with the several issues.
Obviously, the paralysis and expressive aphasia present George with new challenges. He has had to contend with the loss of his job and the intense therapy that followed the stroke. He also tires easily. Further, he daily struggles with his devotions because of the effects of the stroke. While these are not sinful in themselves, how George responds to these new challenges will reveal the allegiances of his heart, and his responses must be held in check by the Scriptures.
George’s family reports that he is a very different man, a “shell of a man”, post-stroke. He is passive and withdrawn, and often seems indifferent to the needs and concerns of his family. George has also become far more aggressive towards his family, and even vocally hostile towards Sarah. At times he is impulsive and demanding. Some of these issues, his family reveals, were present yet well controlled before the stroke. The question is, to what degree has the stroke inhibited George’s ability to respond to his present situation in a Godly way? His ambivalence coupled with his difficulty in processing information, shown in his struggle through emotions and his ability to answer application questions regarding his devotions and family life, suggest that the stroke may have done some damage to processing centers in his brain. The stroke could have affected his short-term memory as well.
With the information given, however, there is really no way to be conclusive. I think observation and questioning over time is going to be the best way to determine how to most effectively help George and his family. I would want to walk along with them gathering more information while trying to paint a more accurate picture of the particulars of George’s physical and spiritual condition. The good news is, George desires to change and is willing to go through with counseling, as is his family.
Still, sin must be called sin. Any physical effects or defects that George is experiencing are still able to be meted out with God’s grace. Ed Welch, in his book Blame it on the Brain?, writes, “even in the more severe forms of brain injury and deterioration, there remains a conscience, an ability to respond to God and an ability to turn from sin” (Welch, 69). George remains accountable to God, whom he has not forgotten (nor has he been forgotten!). He has confessed that his relationship to Jesus is important to him.
As for George’s depression and use of psychoactive medication, there are several aspect I would like to consider. First of all, although George does not want to see the psychiatrist again, I would like to discus George’s case with him. I would like to understand his/her opinion for putting George on Zoloft in the first place, and then also adding Wellbutrin. With this in mind, I would like to spend some time working with George now while he is off most of the prescribed medications, to get an idea of who George is without the medications. If there seems to be no lifting of his depression, or no end in sight in walking through the issues George faces, perhaps the option of medication could be re-explored. A second opinion might also be prudent. Knowing that there is a host of anti-depressants available, perhaps trying a variation of combinations would be helpful to discover which ones would be best suitable for George.
At any rate, there will be no hard and fast answers for George and his family. Working with George will be a walk of patience, perseverance, and faith. Part of this journey will include ministering to his family as well as to George. The members of his family are, whether they realize it or not, his primary counselors. Not only would it be helpful for them to be on board with me, they, too, need guidance and encouragement. According to Welch, positive changes depend also on “the spiritual quality of family and friends” (Welch, 93). Sarah and the kids, as well as members of George’s church family, ought to educate themselves as best they can in order to understand the changes in George, and how to most effectively minister to him. The family members themselves also need to be shepherded and built up by the church.
Furthermore, the truth ought to be spoken to George in love. Perhaps focusing on his strengths rather than weaknesses, and encouraging George to excel when and where he can would be most helpful. We need to keep in mind that “we all have unique brain-based strengths and weaknesses, and we are all called to live our lives before God, in service to him and others” (Emlet, 9). Encouraging George to continue going to church and doing volunteer work seems to be a good place to start. Further, setting realistic goals for George (which would necessitate education about stroke and its effects) would be helpful in setting the trajectory for further recovery within the family dynamic.
Speaking the truth in love also includes admonishing George for his sinful behavior. Neither I nor his family should let George continue on in sin. Of course, these admonishments ought to be curbed with forgiveness and understanding of who we are in Christ. George should not be incessantly barraged with accusations and confrontations, as this seems to drive him into seclusion. The family (and I) ought to walk along with George as he may need to be re-taught aspects of living the Christian life, and be assisted in his desire to serve the Lord.
Perhaps most importantly, I would offer the whole family the hope of the gospel. I would like to walk them through Second Corinthians chapter four, encouraging them all that they have the Spirit of Life within them, and that we all “carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” (v. 14). We are “jars of clay”, weak vessels, who do suffer, but never to the extreme where we have no hope. “Therefore”, says Paul, “we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (vv. 16-17). This is the reality that we live out of. What a glorious truth! Paul also confesses that it is the Spirit who helps us in our weakness (Rom. 8:26). Moreover, we are also given direction in God’s word as to why we experience the comfort of God in times of trial: that “we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:4). Through the grace of God by the power of His Word through the presence of His Spirit within us there is hope, and there is much reason to rejoice!
No comments:
Post a Comment