Having grown up in a church that has a strong reformed background, and now attending a similar (but less legalistic) Dutch reformed church, I have often heard sermons explaining the Ten Commandments. However, I don’t recall ever hearing or reading anything that made connections to the Decalogue as a guide for man to reflect the image of God in us. Instead, I was always taught to obey the law because God’s holiness demanded it. Recently, I heard a sermon series on the Ten Commandments highlighting both the prohibitions of the laws as well as the freedom in following these commands- which had a significant impact on how I view the Law.
In a similar way, reflecting on the Decalogue as a way to manifest the image of God in which we were created, through the keeping thereof, is already beginning to impact my theology; in time, I suspect, this will produce change in my life also. Most significant at this point is simply the realization of how permeating the image of God is, both in Scripture and life. Writing this now, I can say to myself, “Yeah, d-uh, of course”, but until reading this chapter in Mangano I guess I really never thought about it. God gave us boundaries to live within, and by living within these limits we mirror God in specific ways. There is a great sanctity to the way we live life and treat God and other human beings.
This, of course, Mangano expands in the next chapter. The image of God ought to be reflected in our relationships- with our parents, spouse, kids, siblings, community. This all sounds right and good, but as I wrote a number of weeks ago, how often do I actually reflect on this? How often is this a topic of conversation, even among Christians? I think I, and perhaps this is true across the board, tend to think mostly in terms of becoming more like Christ, of being conformed into the image of God’s Son. Speaking along these lines, while true, misses that point that I already AM made in the image of God and I DO bear that image, as distorted as I may have made it. God is now at work in me to restore that image to its intended beauty.
So where do I go from here? I really need to consciously meditate on the reality of bearing the image of God. How do the traits of knowledge, righteousness, and holiness factor in my daily walk…or not? Surely they reflect how I ought to live before God and man. Furthermore, I think it would be beneficial to talk about this issue with others, sharing what I have learned and gleaning from them what they know.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Journal 7
I was just reading over the notes sent to me from last class, and something jumped out at me from the discussion on the book of Ephesians: there’s freedom in sharing joy with others rather than being envious. This comes in the wake of a crushing two-game defeat in the board game Settlers of Catan. I have a really competitive nature; I hate losing. So the question hits hard: am I joying in the happiness of others? I should be able to, especially in this instance since this is just a board game. However, the sinful passions of my heart dictate that somehow I am less of a man if I don’t win. I found myself quick to pout at my imminent second defeat; my attitude stunk. Therefore, I was disabled form sharing the joy my wife felt over her victories.
While this may seem like a petty thing that I ought to just get over, the realities of this inordinate desire spill over into other areas of my life. Why am I not more thrilled to see the blessing that God has showered on others and rejoice with them? Instead, the competitive and covetous desires of my heart are revealed in my attitude. I know this is wrong, and I usually try to deal with it by putting the lid on the proverbial pot. Of course, this is not ‘dealing with it’, and the issue will come up again next time…or, perhaps, not now that God has my attention.
There truly must be freedom in sharing in the joy of others. On the flip side, envy, covetousness, and the like are enslaving; they are blinding; these sins manifest insanity. I do not want to be ruled by these desires. I want to live freely in the joy of community.
Although God did give man the mandate for mastery over creation, perhaps he also created man male and female- in community- so that our desires for mastery would be kept in check. Of course, the summary of the Law given later dictates that the way we are to live in community is to be governed by a love for others. Envy, greed, selfishness- these all fly in the face of establishing loving relationships. In truth they are forms of hatred, and are exhibited by a shaking of the fist in the face of God from whom all blessings flow. When I did not win tonight, in essence I was offended at my Father for His providence.
Satan laid a trap for me, and I fell into it, heart, line and sinker. But praise be to God He had another plan. He used this moment to check my selfish motivations. He has displayed His sovereign faithfulness in using this “petty” happenstance to mold me and shape me more into the image of His Son. I pray that, lesson learned, I will be on guard next time, and will take the time to rejoice in the victory of others.
I guess I ought to be going now- I need to ask my wife for forgiveness.
While this may seem like a petty thing that I ought to just get over, the realities of this inordinate desire spill over into other areas of my life. Why am I not more thrilled to see the blessing that God has showered on others and rejoice with them? Instead, the competitive and covetous desires of my heart are revealed in my attitude. I know this is wrong, and I usually try to deal with it by putting the lid on the proverbial pot. Of course, this is not ‘dealing with it’, and the issue will come up again next time…or, perhaps, not now that God has my attention.
There truly must be freedom in sharing in the joy of others. On the flip side, envy, covetousness, and the like are enslaving; they are blinding; these sins manifest insanity. I do not want to be ruled by these desires. I want to live freely in the joy of community.
Although God did give man the mandate for mastery over creation, perhaps he also created man male and female- in community- so that our desires for mastery would be kept in check. Of course, the summary of the Law given later dictates that the way we are to live in community is to be governed by a love for others. Envy, greed, selfishness- these all fly in the face of establishing loving relationships. In truth they are forms of hatred, and are exhibited by a shaking of the fist in the face of God from whom all blessings flow. When I did not win tonight, in essence I was offended at my Father for His providence.
Satan laid a trap for me, and I fell into it, heart, line and sinker. But praise be to God He had another plan. He used this moment to check my selfish motivations. He has displayed His sovereign faithfulness in using this “petty” happenstance to mold me and shape me more into the image of His Son. I pray that, lesson learned, I will be on guard next time, and will take the time to rejoice in the victory of others.
I guess I ought to be going now- I need to ask my wife for forgiveness.
Ephesians And The Created Order
When reading through the book of Ephesians while at the same time having the creation account bookmarked, one can’t help but notice the parallels and examples that Paul draws from the opening chapters of Genesis. In the most basic sense, Paul acknowledges that God created all things (3:9) and that all families of heaven and earth are named after Him (3:15). All things, Paul says, are placed under the authority of Jesus Christ (1:22).
Man, the crown of the creation, is made in the image and likeness of God (Gen. 1:27). This image was distorted through the Fall; therefore, Paul urges believers- those created in Christ for good works (2:10)- to “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (4:24). Paul mentions in the opening salutation of the letter that believers have been adopted as sons into the family of God (1:5), echoing the fact that Adam was recognized as being the “son of God” in Luke’s genealogy (Luke 3:38; cf. Gen. 5:1-3).
Drawing parallels to man’s position and calling in the Garden of Eden, Paul mentions that we have been given an inheritance in Christ, and have been given His Spirit as a guarantor until that inheritance has been realized (1:11, 14). He also recognizes the stewardship with which we were entrusted, a stewardship of grace (3:2). Furthermore, we are called to labor in the church for the building up thereof (4:28-9). As part of the delegation of our stewardship, God has lavished us the riches of his mercy and saving grace (1:8, 18-19, 3:16).
Moreover, Paul directly quotes from the institution of marriage in Genesis where a man is called to leave his family and cling to his wife, joining into a one-flesh union (5:31). This he parallels with the unity between Christ and His Church. This theme of unity has been woven throughout the letter by Paul who revealed the mystery of the inclusion of the Gentiles into the family of God. Through His death and resurrection, Christ made both Jew and Gentile one (2:14-15); we are now “members one of another” in Him (4:25). In this corporate unity we move forward, are conformed more and more into the image of Christ, and in Him are together fulfilling our cultural mandate established at creation.
Through the creation language and parallels that Paul uses in this letter (and elsewhere in Scripture), we see that even the creation, declared by God to be very good, was meant to point us forward to even greater realities and glory in Christ.
Man, the crown of the creation, is made in the image and likeness of God (Gen. 1:27). This image was distorted through the Fall; therefore, Paul urges believers- those created in Christ for good works (2:10)- to “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (4:24). Paul mentions in the opening salutation of the letter that believers have been adopted as sons into the family of God (1:5), echoing the fact that Adam was recognized as being the “son of God” in Luke’s genealogy (Luke 3:38; cf. Gen. 5:1-3).
Drawing parallels to man’s position and calling in the Garden of Eden, Paul mentions that we have been given an inheritance in Christ, and have been given His Spirit as a guarantor until that inheritance has been realized (1:11, 14). He also recognizes the stewardship with which we were entrusted, a stewardship of grace (3:2). Furthermore, we are called to labor in the church for the building up thereof (4:28-9). As part of the delegation of our stewardship, God has lavished us the riches of his mercy and saving grace (1:8, 18-19, 3:16).
Moreover, Paul directly quotes from the institution of marriage in Genesis where a man is called to leave his family and cling to his wife, joining into a one-flesh union (5:31). This he parallels with the unity between Christ and His Church. This theme of unity has been woven throughout the letter by Paul who revealed the mystery of the inclusion of the Gentiles into the family of God. Through His death and resurrection, Christ made both Jew and Gentile one (2:14-15); we are now “members one of another” in Him (4:25). In this corporate unity we move forward, are conformed more and more into the image of Christ, and in Him are together fulfilling our cultural mandate established at creation.
Through the creation language and parallels that Paul uses in this letter (and elsewhere in Scripture), we see that even the creation, declared by God to be very good, was meant to point us forward to even greater realities and glory in Christ.
Journal 6
Well, I suppose you could say we haven’t had the easiest transition moving to Philadelphia, but, yes, we are settling in and settling down, and things are getting along fairly smoothly- thanks for asking! Discussing God’s abundance in class, and the reminders to look out for it, certainly have helped to get through the rougher waters, so thank you for that encouragement and discipling. Focusing on the goodness of God when things in life get hairy- like concerns with our pregnancy- genuinely help to calm my spirits, paving the way for me to serve my wife more effectively, which, I believe, brings glory to God.
Being mindful of the abundance with which God showers us almost seems counterintuitive in a sense. In a world that is not safe, having someone bless us so incessantly seems out of place- but then I am looking at life from the opposite perspective that God wants me to see from. The life of blessing, joy, abundance- the life of life, really- is the way that is truly human because it is the way we were created to live having been made in God’s image.
Unfortunately, the sinful bent of our hearts is to hoard things for ourselves; the philosophy of the world is to “look out for number one” and that number one is naturally me. Therefore, outside of Christ, people live to bless themselves, not others- a trait that I, to my shame, still see so often in myself. Consequently, I tend to build walls of self-protection around my own little kingdom separating myself from others so I do not have to part with my “selfs”: self- glory, esteem, aggrandizement, pleasure, service, worth, you-name-it. Thus, I drive myself to live in secrecy, as did Dave from the Yalom reading. A choose to live in the dark where no one can enter in and jeopardize my safety or plunder my treasure. At least, there are remnants of this in me; since Christ shed His light in my heart I have a new desire- to know and be known, and to share the blessings that God has lavished upon me.
The world is a scary place- because of the corruption of greedy sin. But with the deluge of blessings my God rains down on me the fears and worries of this life are like dust in the wind. His yoke is easy and His burden is light! And a life of humble service to Him is far better than being locked away in my dark castle. What a blessing to have been set free from my own selfish captivity by the bounty of his saving grace.
Being mindful of the abundance with which God showers us almost seems counterintuitive in a sense. In a world that is not safe, having someone bless us so incessantly seems out of place- but then I am looking at life from the opposite perspective that God wants me to see from. The life of blessing, joy, abundance- the life of life, really- is the way that is truly human because it is the way we were created to live having been made in God’s image.
Unfortunately, the sinful bent of our hearts is to hoard things for ourselves; the philosophy of the world is to “look out for number one” and that number one is naturally me. Therefore, outside of Christ, people live to bless themselves, not others- a trait that I, to my shame, still see so often in myself. Consequently, I tend to build walls of self-protection around my own little kingdom separating myself from others so I do not have to part with my “selfs”: self- glory, esteem, aggrandizement, pleasure, service, worth, you-name-it. Thus, I drive myself to live in secrecy, as did Dave from the Yalom reading. A choose to live in the dark where no one can enter in and jeopardize my safety or plunder my treasure. At least, there are remnants of this in me; since Christ shed His light in my heart I have a new desire- to know and be known, and to share the blessings that God has lavished upon me.
The world is a scary place- because of the corruption of greedy sin. But with the deluge of blessings my God rains down on me the fears and worries of this life are like dust in the wind. His yoke is easy and His burden is light! And a life of humble service to Him is far better than being locked away in my dark castle. What a blessing to have been set free from my own selfish captivity by the bounty of his saving grace.
Anthropological Theology- The Flesh
I really appreciated the way Welch dissected Jay Adam’s anthropology. I suppose in reading the beginning of the article it was rather apparent to me that Adams’ view that the sinfulness of a regenerated man is somehow tied up in the body only doesn’t seem to jive with the rest of Scripture. Moreover, this doesn’t seem to fit into a reformed view of progressive sanctification. Adams does admit that there has to be a renewal of habits that a sinful body is entrenched in; however, this would easily lead to the excuse of, “my body made me do it”- a strong echo to Adam and Eve’s blame shifting in the garden.
I can understand Adams’ concern with the efficacy of the work of Christ in our hearts when we come to faith in God. However, I believe the imputation of righteousness to us, our justification, has to do with our legal status before the Judge rather than with the actual condition of our souls. As is postulated in the article, this does not necessitate a two-nature view of man. We have one nature that is perfectly righteous in Christ, one which must still await the full realization of the reality of this new state. Thus, while we have been proclaimed to be perfectly holy in Christ through His righteousness, our sinful hearts are undergoing a transformation, a reformation, a sanctification- a change in our condition, not state- which is worked out over time as the Spirit works in us as we battle against remaining sin in our hearts.
Therefore, Adams’ counseling methods look a lot more like works righteousness than the battle against sin that Paul wrestled over in Romans 7.
Because of the finished work of Christ on the cross, we have been liberated from the power of sin, but not from its presence. This is where the battle continues. Paul desired to know the power of Christ’s resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, in order that he might one day realize the perfection for which Christ had apprehended him.
The blessing that remains for us is that we, as Christians, are also adopted into the family of God when we are saved. Therefore, we do not have to fight the good fight of faith alone; we can pray for, encourage, admonish, teach, uphold, and build up each other in the faith as we strive to be holy as God is holy. And we all will one day be with Jesus in glory!
I can understand Adams’ concern with the efficacy of the work of Christ in our hearts when we come to faith in God. However, I believe the imputation of righteousness to us, our justification, has to do with our legal status before the Judge rather than with the actual condition of our souls. As is postulated in the article, this does not necessitate a two-nature view of man. We have one nature that is perfectly righteous in Christ, one which must still await the full realization of the reality of this new state. Thus, while we have been proclaimed to be perfectly holy in Christ through His righteousness, our sinful hearts are undergoing a transformation, a reformation, a sanctification- a change in our condition, not state- which is worked out over time as the Spirit works in us as we battle against remaining sin in our hearts.
Therefore, Adams’ counseling methods look a lot more like works righteousness than the battle against sin that Paul wrestled over in Romans 7.
Because of the finished work of Christ on the cross, we have been liberated from the power of sin, but not from its presence. This is where the battle continues. Paul desired to know the power of Christ’s resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, in order that he might one day realize the perfection for which Christ had apprehended him.
The blessing that remains for us is that we, as Christians, are also adopted into the family of God when we are saved. Therefore, we do not have to fight the good fight of faith alone; we can pray for, encourage, admonish, teach, uphold, and build up each other in the faith as we strive to be holy as God is holy. And we all will one day be with Jesus in glory!
Journal 5
Well, I can’t say I have ever really sat down to think about what my strengths and weaknesses are in terms of the flesh. I have found this a rather difficult assignment, mostly because what I might deem a weakness can easily be explained as a spiritual issue. I think.
I suppose noting my strengths is the easier half of this equation. I believe I have good organizational skills; I do well with maps and spatial orientation, and I have been blessed with a memory which is keen on remembering trivial information as well as able to digest and apply complex concepts (which might seem contradictory given the difficulty I am currently experiencing with this assignment!) I write well- although, I am not sure if this is a strength or simply a learned skill; however, I am not as competent at speaking my thoughts.
My biggest weaknesses, I think, are also my strengths; they can be my weaknesses if I trust in them, which, I gather, puts me into the realm of the spiritual rather than the physical. Also, I know I do have a rather weak stomach. When our baby is born, I don’t know how well I will handle dirty diapers or the flu! Not very well, I’m afraid.
Another idea that came to mind that may have some biological bearing, but seems blurred into the spiritual, is a propensity to physical attraction and lust. Of course, the desire for physical pleasure was created by God for our enjoyment in the right context and in moderation (in the case of food, etc.). However, whether by nature or by nurture I find myself to be easily swayed into sinning in this area of life. James says that wars and strife come from our desires for pleasure at war in our members (4:1). Is it possible that we have physical weaknesses that the Tempter taps into to lead us astray also? Is it possible that we, while not denying responsibility for our sinful choices and actions, have a propensity to sin in certain areas because of a physical deficiency or weakness? I’ll have to sleep on that question.
Well, having slept on that, I still am no closer to an answer. Any thoughts?
I suppose noting my strengths is the easier half of this equation. I believe I have good organizational skills; I do well with maps and spatial orientation, and I have been blessed with a memory which is keen on remembering trivial information as well as able to digest and apply complex concepts (which might seem contradictory given the difficulty I am currently experiencing with this assignment!) I write well- although, I am not sure if this is a strength or simply a learned skill; however, I am not as competent at speaking my thoughts.
My biggest weaknesses, I think, are also my strengths; they can be my weaknesses if I trust in them, which, I gather, puts me into the realm of the spiritual rather than the physical. Also, I know I do have a rather weak stomach. When our baby is born, I don’t know how well I will handle dirty diapers or the flu! Not very well, I’m afraid.
Another idea that came to mind that may have some biological bearing, but seems blurred into the spiritual, is a propensity to physical attraction and lust. Of course, the desire for physical pleasure was created by God for our enjoyment in the right context and in moderation (in the case of food, etc.). However, whether by nature or by nurture I find myself to be easily swayed into sinning in this area of life. James says that wars and strife come from our desires for pleasure at war in our members (4:1). Is it possible that we have physical weaknesses that the Tempter taps into to lead us astray also? Is it possible that we, while not denying responsibility for our sinful choices and actions, have a propensity to sin in certain areas because of a physical deficiency or weakness? I’ll have to sleep on that question.
Well, having slept on that, I still am no closer to an answer. Any thoughts?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Themes and Challenges In Joshua
Themes
- The fulfillment of the promises made to Moses
- The people’s faithful adherence to all that God had commanded them
- Joshua leading the people of Israel during the conquest
- God faithfulness in driving out the inhabitants of the land for the Israelites
- God’s presence with His people in the land He gave
- The promised land allotments to the ten tribes given
- Do not fear/be of good courage (trust in the word of the LORD)
- Exhortation to continue following after the LORD and not other gods
- Salvation- remembered, promised and given: Rahab spared, the Jordan crossing ( // Red Sea), the Cities of Refuge; cf. the rest established after the conquest
Challenges
- The allotments to the 10 tribes- any post-exilic applications?
- The ruthless extermination of the inhabitants of Canaan (although I don’t really see this as a problem per se, if parallels are drawn to Christ’s utterly defeating His enemies, and the command for us to ruthlessly rid of sin in our lives)
- The miracles performed (crossing the Jordan, fall of Jericho, the sun and moon standing still)- are there modern miracles and can we count on God to perform them today?
- Tribes east of the Jordan setting up their own memorial altar- does it demonstrate a lack of trust in God, or just practical faith?
- Some of the peoples NOT driven out (eg. the Jebusites in Jerusalem)
- The promise of Hebron to Caleb, then it is passed on to the Levites as a city of refuge- a true fulfillment of the promise to him and his family?
- Keeping all the commands of God would bring blessing- works righteousness?
- Giving equal division of land to 5 daughters of Zelophehad from Manasseh
- The mention of the death of Balaam
- The burial of Joseph’s bones
- The fulfillment of the promises made to Moses
- The people’s faithful adherence to all that God had commanded them
- Joshua leading the people of Israel during the conquest
- God faithfulness in driving out the inhabitants of the land for the Israelites
- God’s presence with His people in the land He gave
- The promised land allotments to the ten tribes given
- Do not fear/be of good courage (trust in the word of the LORD)
- Exhortation to continue following after the LORD and not other gods
- Salvation- remembered, promised and given: Rahab spared, the Jordan crossing ( // Red Sea), the Cities of Refuge; cf. the rest established after the conquest
Challenges
- The allotments to the 10 tribes- any post-exilic applications?
- The ruthless extermination of the inhabitants of Canaan (although I don’t really see this as a problem per se, if parallels are drawn to Christ’s utterly defeating His enemies, and the command for us to ruthlessly rid of sin in our lives)
- The miracles performed (crossing the Jordan, fall of Jericho, the sun and moon standing still)- are there modern miracles and can we count on God to perform them today?
- Tribes east of the Jordan setting up their own memorial altar- does it demonstrate a lack of trust in God, or just practical faith?
- Some of the peoples NOT driven out (eg. the Jebusites in Jerusalem)
- The promise of Hebron to Caleb, then it is passed on to the Levites as a city of refuge- a true fulfillment of the promise to him and his family?
- Keeping all the commands of God would bring blessing- works righteousness?
- Giving equal division of land to 5 daughters of Zelophehad from Manasseh
- The mention of the death of Balaam
- The burial of Joseph’s bones
Randy and Ellen Case Study
Randy
Complaints:
- Ellen is too absorbed with her job and has neglected the family; the house no longer tidy; wants to “come home to home”; Ellen “changed the rules in the middle of the game”
- Feels like Ellen doesn’t listen to him
Relational Trends:
- Moves away from others
Role Definition:
- Was sole breadwinner; wife the homemaker- his Mom took care of everything
Communication:
- Avoids talking about what is bothering him; stonewall
- Blow up at each other
Conflict Resolution:
- Avoids conflict
- Blame shifting; alternates between yelling and stonewalling
Time and Intimacy:
- Feels like Ellen has grown tired of him like an old hobby
Worship Themes:
- Wants comfort and organization, not change
- Wants respect
- Wants Ellen to meet his needs
Ellen
Complaints:
- Randy pouts at home and throws temper tantrums
- Randy used to be laid back and easy to please; became a “demanding tyrant”
- Thinks Randy wants her to stay home so all his needs are met
Relational Trends:
- Moves toward others
Role Definition:
- Was stay at home mom; wants to work; I suppose she wants Randy to be more like her Dad and pick up the slack at home without complaining
Communication:
- Yells in return- escalation of arguments
- Frustration easily shown in body language and name-calling
Conflict Resolution:
- Engages in (constructive) conflict
- Alternates between yelling and stonewalling
Time and Intimacy:
- Likely spent quality time with kids, and even Randy, like her own mother did when she was young
Worship Themes:
- Want to feel appreciated and significant, to be depended on
- Wants to please
- Wants support in her job
Interpretation
Randy and Ellen seem to be locked into perpetual conflict. Thankfully, the counseling sessions seem to be helping in deflating the high tension that has brought this couple to counseling. Further, there are patterns that have emerged in the exploration of Randy and Ellen’s past that help to explain the motivations and the desires that drive each of them in their separate ways.
Randy seems to be motivated by his desire for comfort and ease. He loves the organization and stability that Ellen has brought to their home. He was the sole breadwinner for the family, and like his own mother, Ellen (up until she went back to work) stayed home and took care of the kids, the house, and Randy. She met all his needs, making sure dinner was ready when he got home, that his laundry was clean when he needed it, and the house was clean and organized. Randy was able to return from work to a home of peace and stability.
Ellen, on the other hand, loves to care for others, which is why she entered the nursing profession. She grew up taking care of her brother, her Dad, and later on her husband and kids. This seems to satisfy a sense of significance and worth for her. She also desires to please others, and seems to pride herself in her accomplishments in caring for them. While she still had children at home, she seemed satisfied to stay home with them. However, in raising her brothers, once they, like her kids, were able to care for themselves and no longer needed her, her task grew old and she was ready to move on to other things- like nursing. Therefore, in order to satisfy her desire to feel needed, she decided to go back to work.
Unfortunately, this return to work threw a monkey wrench into Randy’s stable, organized life. Randy has discussed the instability and disorganization of his family life growing up, so he starts to feel agitated when things at home with Ellen back at work get less than tidy and disorganized. However, being one who tends to avoid conflict and one who seems to move away from others, Randy responds not by voicing his concerns, but by pouting around the house.
Ellen, who presumably loves being back at work where she feels like she makes a difference caring for people, is concerned with Randy’s change of attitude. In my opinion, she and Randy both know that the other knows that the issues stem from Ellen going back to work. She, being one who moves toward others (out of care and concern, as well as one who likes to “fix” things), begins to question Randy if everything is okay. Randy stonewalls her, until one day, the floodgates are broken and this once happy couple begin to flounder and drown in a sea of a relational torrent.
Although the dynamics of their relationship before Ellen returned to work are not spoken of, I think all was well, at least of the surface. Randy and Ellen were, relationally speaking, mutually satisfied. Ellen had the kids (and Randy) at home who needed her, and she was content to care for them and raise them. Her desires to feel worthy and appreciated were being met. Randy’s desires for a peaceful happy home were also being met. He was, therefore, congenial and easy to please. Because their relationship under the surface was one of perpetual worship satisfaction, life was great. There would be little or no conflict because both Randy and Ellen were being worshipful and having their perceived needs met at the same time. Unfortunately, when Ellen decided to go back to work (with Randy’s approval, initially), their house of cards began to crumble.
Randy typically avoids conflict. For a person who is motivated by desires for peace and comfort, this makes a lot of sense. Unfortunately, this is what also seems to keep Randy from expressing himself. By admitting that he does not like it that Ellen has gone back to work because of the repercussions at home, he knows he will offend Ellen, and will have to deal with the ensuing arguments and discussions. Therefore, he chooses to say nothing, supposing to avoid upsetting his life further; however, he cannot hold it in forever, and he erupts in a self-defeating manner that creates even greater conflict than he (potentially) avoided in the first place. Furthermore, he adds to the conflict by misinterpreting their familial situation: Randy sees Ellen as self-absorbed and consequently rejecting the family.
Ellen, on the other hand, loves to care for people and tends to move towards others. Therefore, she engages Randy when she begins to notice that he is upset. Because of Randy’s desire to avoid conflict, this engagement in potentially constructive conversation drives Randy away from her, rather than bringing them together. In the end, she, too, misinterprets Randy’s attitude as they blame each other for being selfish.
This tendency of avoiding conflict seems to have deprived Randy of the necessary communication and conflict resolution skills necessary to deal with this situation he now finds himself in. He states that he feels Ellen has changed the rules halfway through the game- and he doesn’t know these new rules! Not only would he feel disrespected and lost in this situation, he lack the tools he need to express how he feels about it. Instead of admitting his newly apparent weaknesses, he seems to punish Ellen by pouting and stonewalling in order to show his disapproval.
As Ellen moves toward Randy, he moves further away. Because of this lack of support for her new job in addition to trying to keep up with the housework, it seems like Ellen pours more of herself into her job in order to receive the feelings of accomplishment and significance she craves. This keeps her at work more and at home less, “causing” Randy to pout more and grow more resentful. Their bouts of screaming at each other followed by cold silence drives the wedge between them even further in. They plunge deeper and deeper into this downward spiral.
The question remaining is how to interrupt this trajectory. Ellen seems to be on the right track, addressing the issues at hand in the counseling sessions without responding to Randy in anger. Randy’s sullenness and pouting seems to still exacerbate the situation, but he at least is presenting some sense of control over his irritability (session 4). Furthermore, the fact that Randy has agreed to continue counseling is encouraging. Reaching to the heart of their worship disorders seems to be the key to begin resolving some of these issues. There are, of course, practical decisions that must be made regarding the changing role definitions, but with the right attitude they will gain a greater understanding and appreciation of one another, and ultimately a decision could be made with a lot less difficulty and discord.
Complaints:
- Ellen is too absorbed with her job and has neglected the family; the house no longer tidy; wants to “come home to home”; Ellen “changed the rules in the middle of the game”
- Feels like Ellen doesn’t listen to him
Relational Trends:
- Moves away from others
Role Definition:
- Was sole breadwinner; wife the homemaker- his Mom took care of everything
Communication:
- Avoids talking about what is bothering him; stonewall
- Blow up at each other
Conflict Resolution:
- Avoids conflict
- Blame shifting; alternates between yelling and stonewalling
Time and Intimacy:
- Feels like Ellen has grown tired of him like an old hobby
Worship Themes:
- Wants comfort and organization, not change
- Wants respect
- Wants Ellen to meet his needs
Ellen
Complaints:
- Randy pouts at home and throws temper tantrums
- Randy used to be laid back and easy to please; became a “demanding tyrant”
- Thinks Randy wants her to stay home so all his needs are met
Relational Trends:
- Moves toward others
Role Definition:
- Was stay at home mom; wants to work; I suppose she wants Randy to be more like her Dad and pick up the slack at home without complaining
Communication:
- Yells in return- escalation of arguments
- Frustration easily shown in body language and name-calling
Conflict Resolution:
- Engages in (constructive) conflict
- Alternates between yelling and stonewalling
Time and Intimacy:
- Likely spent quality time with kids, and even Randy, like her own mother did when she was young
Worship Themes:
- Want to feel appreciated and significant, to be depended on
- Wants to please
- Wants support in her job
Interpretation
Randy and Ellen seem to be locked into perpetual conflict. Thankfully, the counseling sessions seem to be helping in deflating the high tension that has brought this couple to counseling. Further, there are patterns that have emerged in the exploration of Randy and Ellen’s past that help to explain the motivations and the desires that drive each of them in their separate ways.
Randy seems to be motivated by his desire for comfort and ease. He loves the organization and stability that Ellen has brought to their home. He was the sole breadwinner for the family, and like his own mother, Ellen (up until she went back to work) stayed home and took care of the kids, the house, and Randy. She met all his needs, making sure dinner was ready when he got home, that his laundry was clean when he needed it, and the house was clean and organized. Randy was able to return from work to a home of peace and stability.
Ellen, on the other hand, loves to care for others, which is why she entered the nursing profession. She grew up taking care of her brother, her Dad, and later on her husband and kids. This seems to satisfy a sense of significance and worth for her. She also desires to please others, and seems to pride herself in her accomplishments in caring for them. While she still had children at home, she seemed satisfied to stay home with them. However, in raising her brothers, once they, like her kids, were able to care for themselves and no longer needed her, her task grew old and she was ready to move on to other things- like nursing. Therefore, in order to satisfy her desire to feel needed, she decided to go back to work.
Unfortunately, this return to work threw a monkey wrench into Randy’s stable, organized life. Randy has discussed the instability and disorganization of his family life growing up, so he starts to feel agitated when things at home with Ellen back at work get less than tidy and disorganized. However, being one who tends to avoid conflict and one who seems to move away from others, Randy responds not by voicing his concerns, but by pouting around the house.
Ellen, who presumably loves being back at work where she feels like she makes a difference caring for people, is concerned with Randy’s change of attitude. In my opinion, she and Randy both know that the other knows that the issues stem from Ellen going back to work. She, being one who moves toward others (out of care and concern, as well as one who likes to “fix” things), begins to question Randy if everything is okay. Randy stonewalls her, until one day, the floodgates are broken and this once happy couple begin to flounder and drown in a sea of a relational torrent.
Although the dynamics of their relationship before Ellen returned to work are not spoken of, I think all was well, at least of the surface. Randy and Ellen were, relationally speaking, mutually satisfied. Ellen had the kids (and Randy) at home who needed her, and she was content to care for them and raise them. Her desires to feel worthy and appreciated were being met. Randy’s desires for a peaceful happy home were also being met. He was, therefore, congenial and easy to please. Because their relationship under the surface was one of perpetual worship satisfaction, life was great. There would be little or no conflict because both Randy and Ellen were being worshipful and having their perceived needs met at the same time. Unfortunately, when Ellen decided to go back to work (with Randy’s approval, initially), their house of cards began to crumble.
Randy typically avoids conflict. For a person who is motivated by desires for peace and comfort, this makes a lot of sense. Unfortunately, this is what also seems to keep Randy from expressing himself. By admitting that he does not like it that Ellen has gone back to work because of the repercussions at home, he knows he will offend Ellen, and will have to deal with the ensuing arguments and discussions. Therefore, he chooses to say nothing, supposing to avoid upsetting his life further; however, he cannot hold it in forever, and he erupts in a self-defeating manner that creates even greater conflict than he (potentially) avoided in the first place. Furthermore, he adds to the conflict by misinterpreting their familial situation: Randy sees Ellen as self-absorbed and consequently rejecting the family.
Ellen, on the other hand, loves to care for people and tends to move towards others. Therefore, she engages Randy when she begins to notice that he is upset. Because of Randy’s desire to avoid conflict, this engagement in potentially constructive conversation drives Randy away from her, rather than bringing them together. In the end, she, too, misinterprets Randy’s attitude as they blame each other for being selfish.
This tendency of avoiding conflict seems to have deprived Randy of the necessary communication and conflict resolution skills necessary to deal with this situation he now finds himself in. He states that he feels Ellen has changed the rules halfway through the game- and he doesn’t know these new rules! Not only would he feel disrespected and lost in this situation, he lack the tools he need to express how he feels about it. Instead of admitting his newly apparent weaknesses, he seems to punish Ellen by pouting and stonewalling in order to show his disapproval.
As Ellen moves toward Randy, he moves further away. Because of this lack of support for her new job in addition to trying to keep up with the housework, it seems like Ellen pours more of herself into her job in order to receive the feelings of accomplishment and significance she craves. This keeps her at work more and at home less, “causing” Randy to pout more and grow more resentful. Their bouts of screaming at each other followed by cold silence drives the wedge between them even further in. They plunge deeper and deeper into this downward spiral.
The question remaining is how to interrupt this trajectory. Ellen seems to be on the right track, addressing the issues at hand in the counseling sessions without responding to Randy in anger. Randy’s sullenness and pouting seems to still exacerbate the situation, but he at least is presenting some sense of control over his irritability (session 4). Furthermore, the fact that Randy has agreed to continue counseling is encouraging. Reaching to the heart of their worship disorders seems to be the key to begin resolving some of these issues. There are, of course, practical decisions that must be made regarding the changing role definitions, but with the right attitude they will gain a greater understanding and appreciation of one another, and ultimately a decision could be made with a lot less difficulty and discord.
Romans 5: A Practical Look
Essentially, what Paul in talking about in verses 12-19 of the fifth chapter of Romans is the imputation of sin in all of humanity paralleled with the imputation of Christ’s righteousness to all who believe in Him. Adam, and the covenant head of mankind, sinned; this one transgression plunged the whole human race into a state of inherent sinfulness. This is proven in that death, the punishment incurred for the sin committed, is suffered by everyone. Similarly, although in a much greater magnitude, the righteousness of Christ demonstrated in His act of perfect obedience is imputed to His people. This is proven in that Christ rose from the grave, having conquered death; one day, all the dead in Christ will rise to reign with Him in glory.
So what? Are there implications for today as I live my life from (often mundane) moment to moment? First, the sin that remains in me is of the same nature as Adam’s sin. Adam sinned in desiring to elevate himself into the position of God. I, too, seek to displace God and raise myself up. Since God has revealed this to me, I can begin to repent of the ungodly motivations that seek to rule my heart.
In relation to this, this passage teaches me that I am in need of a Savior. There is no room for any merit of my own righteousness in this equation. Therefore, this text keeps me running back to Christ. Further, when I face accusations from Satan regarding past forgiven sins, these words can be used to challenge and defeat his accusations. Therefore, guilt and shame, while potentially debilitating, can be properly challenged and managed since I have been justified through the work of Jesus Christ. Moreover, the reality of this imputed righteousness means I am now included in the family of God. This is my new identity. I am no longer my own, but belong to God. This new identity informs the way I ought to live from day to day- as royalty!
There are also practical parenting strategies that can be born out of this doctrine. A biblically informed view of our children and the sinful tendencies of their (and our!) hearts will shape the way we discipline and disciple them.
Perhaps best of all, this passage speaks of great hope that orients our gaze towards the future. The salvation procured through the righteousness of Christ is far greater than the depths of sin into which Adam plunged himself and his progeny. The glory given to Christ, of which I will also one day be a partaker, will far surpass even the edenic state from which Adam fell. Therefore, when I face uncertainties and struggles in this life, I can find hope and comfort in the righteousness of my Savior, and look forward to the day when sin and its curse will be completely eradicated and I will live under the approving gaze of God. Jesus Christ has given life for death!
So what? Are there implications for today as I live my life from (often mundane) moment to moment? First, the sin that remains in me is of the same nature as Adam’s sin. Adam sinned in desiring to elevate himself into the position of God. I, too, seek to displace God and raise myself up. Since God has revealed this to me, I can begin to repent of the ungodly motivations that seek to rule my heart.
In relation to this, this passage teaches me that I am in need of a Savior. There is no room for any merit of my own righteousness in this equation. Therefore, this text keeps me running back to Christ. Further, when I face accusations from Satan regarding past forgiven sins, these words can be used to challenge and defeat his accusations. Therefore, guilt and shame, while potentially debilitating, can be properly challenged and managed since I have been justified through the work of Jesus Christ. Moreover, the reality of this imputed righteousness means I am now included in the family of God. This is my new identity. I am no longer my own, but belong to God. This new identity informs the way I ought to live from day to day- as royalty!
There are also practical parenting strategies that can be born out of this doctrine. A biblically informed view of our children and the sinful tendencies of their (and our!) hearts will shape the way we discipline and disciple them.
Perhaps best of all, this passage speaks of great hope that orients our gaze towards the future. The salvation procured through the righteousness of Christ is far greater than the depths of sin into which Adam plunged himself and his progeny. The glory given to Christ, of which I will also one day be a partaker, will far surpass even the edenic state from which Adam fell. Therefore, when I face uncertainties and struggles in this life, I can find hope and comfort in the righteousness of my Savior, and look forward to the day when sin and its curse will be completely eradicated and I will live under the approving gaze of God. Jesus Christ has given life for death!
Journal 4
The readings for this week, if to be summarized under one theme, deal with the realities of sin. I suppose that in most of any readings this would be the case, since sin is so pervasive. However, we often try to mask over this reality and/or choose not to believe that the evil in this world is the product of our sinful hearts.
Mangano, in talking about the results of sin, quotes Isaiah 59:2: “But your iniquities have separated you from your God”. The desperateness of our natural state is seen clearly in the life of Peggy, Yalom’s counselee. I felt sorry for Peggy who was so ensnared by the doctrines of reincarnation and unable to grieve for her daughter in a healthy way. She grieved as those who grieve without hope (1 Thess. 4:13)- no hope for her daughter, and no hope for herself. In fact, she was caught up in her own selfish preoccupation. Unfortunately, it was the rest of her family that suffered most. I felt so terrible for her boys, who were neglected by an obsessed mother. What Yalom helps her to discover, though, is that she has decisions to make regarding how she will live in the future. However, in the end she is still separated from God.
Because of the total depravity of our sinful nature, although we can exercise some choice, we cannot choose to do good over evil. We need to first undergo the spiritual heart transplant surgery promised in Ezekiel 36. Murray’s chapter on free agency helped me to better understand the issues of choice in man, as well as clarified a lot of questions about the fall of Adam and Eve in Eden. Of course, as Murray also postulates, there still remains questions to which we do not have answers, and must be content to accept them by faith. Murray also deals with man as made in the image of God, and how that image was marred by the fall.
I asked my wife this week how often during a given day or week she thinks of herself as bearing the image of God. We have been dealing with this reality to a large extent in class, and it is part of our identity, but I have found for myself I rarely live as though this reality of my existence informs my conduct in practical ways- another disconnect between my formal and practical theology. My wife responded in a similar way. We discussed the implications that this would have on our lives, and how our lives would be more God-focused if we were more conscious of this. However, we really only spoke in generalities. I would like to put this more into practice as I live out the rest of this week. I asked her to challenge me specifically in times of difficulty to remember that I am an image bearer.
Mangano, in talking about the results of sin, quotes Isaiah 59:2: “But your iniquities have separated you from your God”. The desperateness of our natural state is seen clearly in the life of Peggy, Yalom’s counselee. I felt sorry for Peggy who was so ensnared by the doctrines of reincarnation and unable to grieve for her daughter in a healthy way. She grieved as those who grieve without hope (1 Thess. 4:13)- no hope for her daughter, and no hope for herself. In fact, she was caught up in her own selfish preoccupation. Unfortunately, it was the rest of her family that suffered most. I felt so terrible for her boys, who were neglected by an obsessed mother. What Yalom helps her to discover, though, is that she has decisions to make regarding how she will live in the future. However, in the end she is still separated from God.
Because of the total depravity of our sinful nature, although we can exercise some choice, we cannot choose to do good over evil. We need to first undergo the spiritual heart transplant surgery promised in Ezekiel 36. Murray’s chapter on free agency helped me to better understand the issues of choice in man, as well as clarified a lot of questions about the fall of Adam and Eve in Eden. Of course, as Murray also postulates, there still remains questions to which we do not have answers, and must be content to accept them by faith. Murray also deals with man as made in the image of God, and how that image was marred by the fall.
I asked my wife this week how often during a given day or week she thinks of herself as bearing the image of God. We have been dealing with this reality to a large extent in class, and it is part of our identity, but I have found for myself I rarely live as though this reality of my existence informs my conduct in practical ways- another disconnect between my formal and practical theology. My wife responded in a similar way. We discussed the implications that this would have on our lives, and how our lives would be more God-focused if we were more conscious of this. However, we really only spoke in generalities. I would like to put this more into practice as I live out the rest of this week. I asked her to challenge me specifically in times of difficulty to remember that I am an image bearer.
George Case Study: Ministry To A Stroke Victim
Strokes, like other catastrophic incidences, can wreak havoc in the lives of individuals as well as their families and extended social webs. Some of the most difficult things for individuals and families to work through are the often-radical changes that present themselves after a stroke, which affect the person’s physiological, psychological, and spiritual spheres. In more extreme cases, the victim can appear to be someone totally different than he/she was prior to the stroke. Although this event and the resulting fallout is devastating for both the individual as well as family and friends, the good news of Jesus Christ speaks loud and clear into the midst of the sin and suffering.
My own relationship with God and the lessons I have learned and am still learning form the basis for the lenses through which I would begin to conceptualize George and his situation. Knowing that the challenges George currently faces affects his family, I would want to include them in as much of the counseling process as possible. Initially, I would like to take a positive approach to the situation. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, while ineffective in that God is largely absent, does have some merits; at the same time, I am not advocating ‘the power of positive thinking”. By refocusing at the outset on the good things that are happening in George’s life, family, and beyond, will allow the counseling to be more Christocentric from the outset.
At the risk of sounding simplistic, I praise God for His intervention in George’s life, and that of his family. I am certain that God is at work in this situation, tugging at the allegiances that rule the hearts of all involved (including mine). As to the physical issues, George has had significant victory in overcoming his temporary paralysis, and seems to be making headway regarding the expressive aphasia suffered from the stroke. While the family has expressed that “all that seems to be left is his fallenness”, I am thankful for George’s heart, that he has expressed the desire to follow the footsteps of His Savior, and that he is willing to continue his devotional schedule even though it takes him longer to work through it than it did before the stroke. Praise God that George still goes out to church, as well as to do volunteer work, and that his family does recognize this as a positive thing.
I am thankful that his family has not deserted him, but rather is willing to seek counsel in this tough time. Moreover, George and his family are part of a church community that seems to be supportive of George and the family seeking further help and guidance. In addition, I am humbled that God has seen fit to use me to walk alongside George and his family in the midst of this hardship. My hope and goal in voicing these observations would be to encourage George, Sarah, and their children, by helping them to see that God is present in the midst of this struggle, and to reorient them in a God-ward direction.
George is both a sinner and a sufferer. As such, his current condition presents many difficulties regarding the interpretation of his behavior in light of his recent stroke. He is not the same as he was before the stroke; this may be obvious, but he, as well as his family, must contend with these changes. Therefore, one must take into consideration both the physical and spiritual accidentals. The lines between the two are rather blurred, which has many repercussions for counseling in respect to how to deal with the several issues.
Obviously, the paralysis and expressive aphasia present George with new challenges. He has had to contend with the loss of his job and the intense therapy that followed the stroke. He also tires easily. Further, he daily struggles with his devotions because of the effects of the stroke. While these are not sinful in themselves, how George responds to these new challenges will reveal the allegiances of his heart, and his responses must be held in check by the Scriptures.
George’s family reports that he is a very different man, a “shell of a man”, post-stroke. He is passive and withdrawn, and often seems indifferent to the needs and concerns of his family. George has also become far more aggressive towards his family, and even vocally hostile towards Sarah. At times he is impulsive and demanding. Some of these issues, his family reveals, were present yet well controlled before the stroke. The question is, to what degree has the stroke inhibited George’s ability to respond to his present situation in a Godly way? His ambivalence coupled with his difficulty in processing information, shown in his struggle through emotions and his ability to answer application questions regarding his devotions and family life, suggest that the stroke may have done some damage to processing centers in his brain. The stroke could have affected his short-term memory as well.
With the information given, however, there is really no way to be conclusive. I think observation and questioning over time is going to be the best way to determine how to most effectively help George and his family. I would want to walk along with them gathering more information while trying to paint a more accurate picture of the particulars of George’s physical and spiritual condition. The good news is, George desires to change and is willing to go through with counseling, as is his family.
Still, sin must be called sin. Any physical effects or defects that George is experiencing are still able to be meted out with God’s grace. Ed Welch, in his book Blame it on the Brain?, writes, “even in the more severe forms of brain injury and deterioration, there remains a conscience, an ability to respond to God and an ability to turn from sin” (Welch, 69). George remains accountable to God, whom he has not forgotten (nor has he been forgotten!). He has confessed that his relationship to Jesus is important to him.
As for George’s depression and use of psychoactive medication, there are several aspect I would like to consider. First of all, although George does not want to see the psychiatrist again, I would like to discus George’s case with him. I would like to understand his/her opinion for putting George on Zoloft in the first place, and then also adding Wellbutrin. With this in mind, I would like to spend some time working with George now while he is off most of the prescribed medications, to get an idea of who George is without the medications. If there seems to be no lifting of his depression, or no end in sight in walking through the issues George faces, perhaps the option of medication could be re-explored. A second opinion might also be prudent. Knowing that there is a host of anti-depressants available, perhaps trying a variation of combinations would be helpful to discover which ones would be best suitable for George.
At any rate, there will be no hard and fast answers for George and his family. Working with George will be a walk of patience, perseverance, and faith. Part of this journey will include ministering to his family as well as to George. The members of his family are, whether they realize it or not, his primary counselors. Not only would it be helpful for them to be on board with me, they, too, need guidance and encouragement. According to Welch, positive changes depend also on “the spiritual quality of family and friends” (Welch, 93). Sarah and the kids, as well as members of George’s church family, ought to educate themselves as best they can in order to understand the changes in George, and how to most effectively minister to him. The family members themselves also need to be shepherded and built up by the church.
Furthermore, the truth ought to be spoken to George in love. Perhaps focusing on his strengths rather than weaknesses, and encouraging George to excel when and where he can would be most helpful. We need to keep in mind that “we all have unique brain-based strengths and weaknesses, and we are all called to live our lives before God, in service to him and others” (Emlet, 9). Encouraging George to continue going to church and doing volunteer work seems to be a good place to start. Further, setting realistic goals for George (which would necessitate education about stroke and its effects) would be helpful in setting the trajectory for further recovery within the family dynamic.
Speaking the truth in love also includes admonishing George for his sinful behavior. Neither I nor his family should let George continue on in sin. Of course, these admonishments ought to be curbed with forgiveness and understanding of who we are in Christ. George should not be incessantly barraged with accusations and confrontations, as this seems to drive him into seclusion. The family (and I) ought to walk along with George as he may need to be re-taught aspects of living the Christian life, and be assisted in his desire to serve the Lord.
Perhaps most importantly, I would offer the whole family the hope of the gospel. I would like to walk them through Second Corinthians chapter four, encouraging them all that they have the Spirit of Life within them, and that we all “carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” (v. 14). We are “jars of clay”, weak vessels, who do suffer, but never to the extreme where we have no hope. “Therefore”, says Paul, “we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (vv. 16-17). This is the reality that we live out of. What a glorious truth! Paul also confesses that it is the Spirit who helps us in our weakness (Rom. 8:26). Moreover, we are also given direction in God’s word as to why we experience the comfort of God in times of trial: that “we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:4). Through the grace of God by the power of His Word through the presence of His Spirit within us there is hope, and there is much reason to rejoice!
My own relationship with God and the lessons I have learned and am still learning form the basis for the lenses through which I would begin to conceptualize George and his situation. Knowing that the challenges George currently faces affects his family, I would want to include them in as much of the counseling process as possible. Initially, I would like to take a positive approach to the situation. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, while ineffective in that God is largely absent, does have some merits; at the same time, I am not advocating ‘the power of positive thinking”. By refocusing at the outset on the good things that are happening in George’s life, family, and beyond, will allow the counseling to be more Christocentric from the outset.
At the risk of sounding simplistic, I praise God for His intervention in George’s life, and that of his family. I am certain that God is at work in this situation, tugging at the allegiances that rule the hearts of all involved (including mine). As to the physical issues, George has had significant victory in overcoming his temporary paralysis, and seems to be making headway regarding the expressive aphasia suffered from the stroke. While the family has expressed that “all that seems to be left is his fallenness”, I am thankful for George’s heart, that he has expressed the desire to follow the footsteps of His Savior, and that he is willing to continue his devotional schedule even though it takes him longer to work through it than it did before the stroke. Praise God that George still goes out to church, as well as to do volunteer work, and that his family does recognize this as a positive thing.
I am thankful that his family has not deserted him, but rather is willing to seek counsel in this tough time. Moreover, George and his family are part of a church community that seems to be supportive of George and the family seeking further help and guidance. In addition, I am humbled that God has seen fit to use me to walk alongside George and his family in the midst of this hardship. My hope and goal in voicing these observations would be to encourage George, Sarah, and their children, by helping them to see that God is present in the midst of this struggle, and to reorient them in a God-ward direction.
George is both a sinner and a sufferer. As such, his current condition presents many difficulties regarding the interpretation of his behavior in light of his recent stroke. He is not the same as he was before the stroke; this may be obvious, but he, as well as his family, must contend with these changes. Therefore, one must take into consideration both the physical and spiritual accidentals. The lines between the two are rather blurred, which has many repercussions for counseling in respect to how to deal with the several issues.
Obviously, the paralysis and expressive aphasia present George with new challenges. He has had to contend with the loss of his job and the intense therapy that followed the stroke. He also tires easily. Further, he daily struggles with his devotions because of the effects of the stroke. While these are not sinful in themselves, how George responds to these new challenges will reveal the allegiances of his heart, and his responses must be held in check by the Scriptures.
George’s family reports that he is a very different man, a “shell of a man”, post-stroke. He is passive and withdrawn, and often seems indifferent to the needs and concerns of his family. George has also become far more aggressive towards his family, and even vocally hostile towards Sarah. At times he is impulsive and demanding. Some of these issues, his family reveals, were present yet well controlled before the stroke. The question is, to what degree has the stroke inhibited George’s ability to respond to his present situation in a Godly way? His ambivalence coupled with his difficulty in processing information, shown in his struggle through emotions and his ability to answer application questions regarding his devotions and family life, suggest that the stroke may have done some damage to processing centers in his brain. The stroke could have affected his short-term memory as well.
With the information given, however, there is really no way to be conclusive. I think observation and questioning over time is going to be the best way to determine how to most effectively help George and his family. I would want to walk along with them gathering more information while trying to paint a more accurate picture of the particulars of George’s physical and spiritual condition. The good news is, George desires to change and is willing to go through with counseling, as is his family.
Still, sin must be called sin. Any physical effects or defects that George is experiencing are still able to be meted out with God’s grace. Ed Welch, in his book Blame it on the Brain?, writes, “even in the more severe forms of brain injury and deterioration, there remains a conscience, an ability to respond to God and an ability to turn from sin” (Welch, 69). George remains accountable to God, whom he has not forgotten (nor has he been forgotten!). He has confessed that his relationship to Jesus is important to him.
As for George’s depression and use of psychoactive medication, there are several aspect I would like to consider. First of all, although George does not want to see the psychiatrist again, I would like to discus George’s case with him. I would like to understand his/her opinion for putting George on Zoloft in the first place, and then also adding Wellbutrin. With this in mind, I would like to spend some time working with George now while he is off most of the prescribed medications, to get an idea of who George is without the medications. If there seems to be no lifting of his depression, or no end in sight in walking through the issues George faces, perhaps the option of medication could be re-explored. A second opinion might also be prudent. Knowing that there is a host of anti-depressants available, perhaps trying a variation of combinations would be helpful to discover which ones would be best suitable for George.
At any rate, there will be no hard and fast answers for George and his family. Working with George will be a walk of patience, perseverance, and faith. Part of this journey will include ministering to his family as well as to George. The members of his family are, whether they realize it or not, his primary counselors. Not only would it be helpful for them to be on board with me, they, too, need guidance and encouragement. According to Welch, positive changes depend also on “the spiritual quality of family and friends” (Welch, 93). Sarah and the kids, as well as members of George’s church family, ought to educate themselves as best they can in order to understand the changes in George, and how to most effectively minister to him. The family members themselves also need to be shepherded and built up by the church.
Furthermore, the truth ought to be spoken to George in love. Perhaps focusing on his strengths rather than weaknesses, and encouraging George to excel when and where he can would be most helpful. We need to keep in mind that “we all have unique brain-based strengths and weaknesses, and we are all called to live our lives before God, in service to him and others” (Emlet, 9). Encouraging George to continue going to church and doing volunteer work seems to be a good place to start. Further, setting realistic goals for George (which would necessitate education about stroke and its effects) would be helpful in setting the trajectory for further recovery within the family dynamic.
Speaking the truth in love also includes admonishing George for his sinful behavior. Neither I nor his family should let George continue on in sin. Of course, these admonishments ought to be curbed with forgiveness and understanding of who we are in Christ. George should not be incessantly barraged with accusations and confrontations, as this seems to drive him into seclusion. The family (and I) ought to walk along with George as he may need to be re-taught aspects of living the Christian life, and be assisted in his desire to serve the Lord.
Perhaps most importantly, I would offer the whole family the hope of the gospel. I would like to walk them through Second Corinthians chapter four, encouraging them all that they have the Spirit of Life within them, and that we all “carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” (v. 14). We are “jars of clay”, weak vessels, who do suffer, but never to the extreme where we have no hope. “Therefore”, says Paul, “we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (vv. 16-17). This is the reality that we live out of. What a glorious truth! Paul also confesses that it is the Spirit who helps us in our weakness (Rom. 8:26). Moreover, we are also given direction in God’s word as to why we experience the comfort of God in times of trial: that “we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:4). Through the grace of God by the power of His Word through the presence of His Spirit within us there is hope, and there is much reason to rejoice!
The Fat Lady . . . Created In The Image Of God
In our discussion of Yalom in last week’s class, the question was asked, how does one appeal to conscience? Yalom seems to believe that in everyone there is a spark somewhere that can be lit, a spark the lies within the fundamentals of humanity. He seems to be grasping at humanity being created in the image of God.
Mangano stresses in his chapter on this subject that man was created in knowledge, righteousness, and holiness. Thus, we all have a conscience that reaches after God (whether we acknowledge this or not) and knows the basic tenets of good and evil. To this innate sensitivity Yalom directs his work with Betty, whom he affectionately calls the Fat Lady.
Through Yalom’s interactions with her- and ultimately within himself- he recognized at last her humanness, and realized that he had treated her as less of a person because of his own prejudices. He was mortified when he found out that she recognized this from the outset.
I need to examine, and perhaps reexamine, my own prejudices against people, and to recognize that all people are created in the image of God. All are created equal, and all need the redemptive recreation of the Spirit of Christ. I need to change the lens through which I view people- which is largely how they will fulfill my needs/wants; better would be that I see everyone as souls (body and spirit, as defined by Mangano- a concept that warrants deeper personal reflection and study) created in God’s image, and therefore learn to respond to them as those who need to know Christ. This, I believe, will greatly reshape my approach to my neighbors and my counselees.
The reality of this hit home this week when I read an article about Ray Boltz “coming out of the closet”. At the outset I was extremely disappointed that he of all people- because of his ministry- would admit he was homosexual. In an instant, I labeled his life as a sham, and my attitude towards him as a Christian singer/songwriter turned sour. Thankfully, the Spirit of God gripped my heart in that moment, and I realized that I was no different. I may have had other struggles with sexual lust, but I am at heart the same as Ray Boltz. I pray that God will keep my humble and keep me attuned to this reality as I seek to minister to others in need.
Mangano stresses in his chapter on this subject that man was created in knowledge, righteousness, and holiness. Thus, we all have a conscience that reaches after God (whether we acknowledge this or not) and knows the basic tenets of good and evil. To this innate sensitivity Yalom directs his work with Betty, whom he affectionately calls the Fat Lady.
Through Yalom’s interactions with her- and ultimately within himself- he recognized at last her humanness, and realized that he had treated her as less of a person because of his own prejudices. He was mortified when he found out that she recognized this from the outset.
I need to examine, and perhaps reexamine, my own prejudices against people, and to recognize that all people are created in the image of God. All are created equal, and all need the redemptive recreation of the Spirit of Christ. I need to change the lens through which I view people- which is largely how they will fulfill my needs/wants; better would be that I see everyone as souls (body and spirit, as defined by Mangano- a concept that warrants deeper personal reflection and study) created in God’s image, and therefore learn to respond to them as those who need to know Christ. This, I believe, will greatly reshape my approach to my neighbors and my counselees.
The reality of this hit home this week when I read an article about Ray Boltz “coming out of the closet”. At the outset I was extremely disappointed that he of all people- because of his ministry- would admit he was homosexual. In an instant, I labeled his life as a sham, and my attitude towards him as a Christian singer/songwriter turned sour. Thankfully, the Spirit of God gripped my heart in that moment, and I realized that I was no different. I may have had other struggles with sexual lust, but I am at heart the same as Ray Boltz. I pray that God will keep my humble and keep me attuned to this reality as I seek to minister to others in need.
Journal 3
“For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God” (Exodus 20:5).
As a child, I used to think God was mean. When we read the 10 Commandments in church Sunday mornings, I thought of God exacting revenge on mankind because that was what (in my mind) jealous men did: got angry and started destroying things. This past week I was given to see clearly that God is not a jealous destroyer (only?), but a Lover in relentless pursuit of His Bride. As a Lover, God lavishes us with gifts and adorns us with good things so that we radiate with His beauty (Ezek. 16; cf. Eph 1:7-9).
We bear God’s image; we represent Him here on earth. Part of that image is this lavishness, this generosity that we ought to mirror to our neighbors. Therefore, as Welch said in class, we must beware of a miserly way of living; a ‘mine’ mentality is not a Godly attitude, and easily leads us astray into (or perhaps is a result of) idolatry.
This is very true of my own life. My struggles against sexual sin, and even indulgences like food- which are good gifts with which God blesses us- are easily mutated into self-serving and self-satisfying pleasures. Stewardship of both my time and my money (actually, as I write this I am convicted: is it really my time and money?) has also proven difficult to manage in a way that reflects God’s desire to shower the earth with goodness.
And how does this reflect in my ministry? I am not thinking first and foremost about a professional counseling ministry, but in my everyday walk with others. Do I live with the intentionality of wanting to bless them? Do I put them first before serving myself? I am ashamed to say that I rather hoard my goods and spend money on things that ultimately don’t matter. I am tight with my time and would rather invest that in things that are on the surface more gratifying than service. I recently heard it said of a man, “he seems like he has all the time in the world to spend talking with you”; I want to have more of this kind of an attitude. I want to better image my Creator, who has all the time in the world to spend with me, and even to chase after me. What god is great like our God ? (Ps. 77:13).
As a child, I used to think God was mean. When we read the 10 Commandments in church Sunday mornings, I thought of God exacting revenge on mankind because that was what (in my mind) jealous men did: got angry and started destroying things. This past week I was given to see clearly that God is not a jealous destroyer (only?), but a Lover in relentless pursuit of His Bride. As a Lover, God lavishes us with gifts and adorns us with good things so that we radiate with His beauty (Ezek. 16; cf. Eph 1:7-9).
We bear God’s image; we represent Him here on earth. Part of that image is this lavishness, this generosity that we ought to mirror to our neighbors. Therefore, as Welch said in class, we must beware of a miserly way of living; a ‘mine’ mentality is not a Godly attitude, and easily leads us astray into (or perhaps is a result of) idolatry.
This is very true of my own life. My struggles against sexual sin, and even indulgences like food- which are good gifts with which God blesses us- are easily mutated into self-serving and self-satisfying pleasures. Stewardship of both my time and my money (actually, as I write this I am convicted: is it really my time and money?) has also proven difficult to manage in a way that reflects God’s desire to shower the earth with goodness.
And how does this reflect in my ministry? I am not thinking first and foremost about a professional counseling ministry, but in my everyday walk with others. Do I live with the intentionality of wanting to bless them? Do I put them first before serving myself? I am ashamed to say that I rather hoard my goods and spend money on things that ultimately don’t matter. I am tight with my time and would rather invest that in things that are on the surface more gratifying than service. I recently heard it said of a man, “he seems like he has all the time in the world to spend talking with you”; I want to have more of this kind of an attitude. I want to better image my Creator, who has all the time in the world to spend with me, and even to chase after me. What god is great like our God ? (Ps. 77:13).
A New Way To Be Mad . . . If Rape Were Legal
As I was reading Elliot’s article “A New Way to Be Mad”, what struck me was the depths of depravity of humanity. How far we have fallen! There seems to be no end to the lists of neuroses and philias, to the wide variety of ways man seeks to find fulfillment and happiness apart from God. This fact was also clear in Yalom’s recounting of his cancer patient.
Initially, Yalom’s patient Carlos tried to find fulfillment in sexual encounters (or fantasies thereof), then switched to doing good in his family and society by making himself a better man. There was no mention of turning to God from his sin, and therefore I fear that this man simply found a more fulfilling way to try to satisfy the longings of his soul apart from God.
Elliot specifically refers to this phenomenon of wanting to find completeness when recalling the reasons people gave him for wanting to become amputees. The commonality (revealed one way or another) was “I was incomplete” or some other complaint about not feeling themselves. Elliot’s conclusion: there is no definite causality for this desire.
On another note, I found his explanation of semantic contagion very insightful. The idea that conditions “spread” because there is some scientific categorization for the way a person feels or has felt in the past gives them an outlet for self-identification, and perhaps, even a sense of normalization (because there are others out there like them). This seems to be a plausible explanation for other “coming out of the closet” psychosocial issues like homosexuality also. While Ecclesiastes contends that there is nothing new under the sun, there are, perhaps, new ways to explain, and even celebrate (unfortunately) man’s depravity from age to age.
I think as counselors getting our hands dirty in today’s society, we need to understand the depths to which man has fallen- specifically the depths of sin to which we ourselves have fallen. I know in my heart the propensity for me would be to sit in judgment of those whose sin has not been largely subdued and defeated by the inner working of the Spirit of Christ. If that remains the case for me and others, we will miss the opportunities God gives us to demonstrate His forgiving love by walking alongside others who suffer from sin in ways that perhaps we, by the grace of God, do not. If so, I think we will have missed the point of ministry.
Initially, Yalom’s patient Carlos tried to find fulfillment in sexual encounters (or fantasies thereof), then switched to doing good in his family and society by making himself a better man. There was no mention of turning to God from his sin, and therefore I fear that this man simply found a more fulfilling way to try to satisfy the longings of his soul apart from God.
Elliot specifically refers to this phenomenon of wanting to find completeness when recalling the reasons people gave him for wanting to become amputees. The commonality (revealed one way or another) was “I was incomplete” or some other complaint about not feeling themselves. Elliot’s conclusion: there is no definite causality for this desire.
On another note, I found his explanation of semantic contagion very insightful. The idea that conditions “spread” because there is some scientific categorization for the way a person feels or has felt in the past gives them an outlet for self-identification, and perhaps, even a sense of normalization (because there are others out there like them). This seems to be a plausible explanation for other “coming out of the closet” psychosocial issues like homosexuality also. While Ecclesiastes contends that there is nothing new under the sun, there are, perhaps, new ways to explain, and even celebrate (unfortunately) man’s depravity from age to age.
I think as counselors getting our hands dirty in today’s society, we need to understand the depths to which man has fallen- specifically the depths of sin to which we ourselves have fallen. I know in my heart the propensity for me would be to sit in judgment of those whose sin has not been largely subdued and defeated by the inner working of the Spirit of Christ. If that remains the case for me and others, we will miss the opportunities God gives us to demonstrate His forgiving love by walking alongside others who suffer from sin in ways that perhaps we, by the grace of God, do not. If so, I think we will have missed the point of ministry.
Journal 2
The term “broken cisterns” came to mind last week in class when we were discussing the Saturday Night Live skit in conjunction with society’s (and our!) desire to fill ourselves with self-affirmation and reach toward self-actualization. In Jeremiah 2:13, God voices this complaint: “my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.” The greatest consequence of the Fall is the enmity and the distance between God and mankind. Since then, the propensity of our fallen and sinful nature is to serve self, and to rule our lives (and the lives of others if possible) for our own pleasure and glory. Thus, we create cisterns to fill up with whatever the world has to offer that makes us feel good about ourselves in some way, shape, or form.
Unfortunately, all our efforts are in vain. As God graciously reveals to us in this same accusation against man, these cisterns are broken and can hold no water. Although we repeatedly force feed ourselves with what our sinful hearts desire, our cisterns are never full. We never have enough. We are never satisfied. All the self-affirmation and the striving toward self-actualization never fills us up. Our own cisterns can hold no water. As Cushman revealed in his article, there is no cure for the empty self.
Fortunately, God gives us the answer to our problems in this same passage: Himself. The LORD is the fountain of living waters. This is a fountain that is ever-flowing. Therefore we do not need any sort of storage tank- there is always water to drink when we are thirsty. Furthermore, these are living, or life-giving waters, a “spring of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:14). God calls us to come and drink freely.
So, who are we? We are people who by nature seek to fill ourselves up with what the world has to offer us- be it pleasure, happiness, fame, or any other of a host of things that do not ultimately satisfy. We are people who were created to be filled with “soul-staggering grandeur” as John Piper puts it. God is the only one who can completely satisfy our needs, and who, by His grace through His Spirit, is at work in us who believe in Him to recreate us and bring us into a state of glory where we will be filled with all the fullness of God.
Unfortunately, all our efforts are in vain. As God graciously reveals to us in this same accusation against man, these cisterns are broken and can hold no water. Although we repeatedly force feed ourselves with what our sinful hearts desire, our cisterns are never full. We never have enough. We are never satisfied. All the self-affirmation and the striving toward self-actualization never fills us up. Our own cisterns can hold no water. As Cushman revealed in his article, there is no cure for the empty self.
Fortunately, God gives us the answer to our problems in this same passage: Himself. The LORD is the fountain of living waters. This is a fountain that is ever-flowing. Therefore we do not need any sort of storage tank- there is always water to drink when we are thirsty. Furthermore, these are living, or life-giving waters, a “spring of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:14). God calls us to come and drink freely.
So, who are we? We are people who by nature seek to fill ourselves up with what the world has to offer us- be it pleasure, happiness, fame, or any other of a host of things that do not ultimately satisfy. We are people who were created to be filled with “soul-staggering grandeur” as John Piper puts it. God is the only one who can completely satisfy our needs, and who, by His grace through His Spirit, is at work in us who believe in Him to recreate us and bring us into a state of glory where we will be filled with all the fullness of God.