I find it easy to envision my life as just that- my life. So often I live as though I am writing my own history. In reality, I am simply living in the story that God is writing for me. Not only is He writing my story, but He is interweaving me into the stories of a myriad of other people. Unbelievable!
The sixth chapter of Relationships: A Mess Worth Making contains a quote from Acts 17 that I think really gets to the heart of the necessity and the directives for my relationships. The sovereign Creator of the universe has directed my life so that in very situation and in every relationship He has specific expectations for me, and a certain direction in which He is leading me and others. I need to be more intentional in my relationships with others in order to live more for His glory.
These intentions, however, are not easily fulfilled. Relationships are messy because we are fallen people living in a fallen world whose natural desires are to serve ourselves. In this book Lane and Tripp spell out some concrete ways to move towards others in more God-honoring ways in order to live lives that are more pleasing to God. However, I so often find that the knowledge and understanding I gain from books of this nature stays in my head instead of being reformulated and outputted actively in forms of loving service.
The final chapter of Relationships is so vital to a book like this. I do not believe that God wants us to be caught up in our own lives to the extent that we stop (or do not begin) to meaningfully associate with other people. God uses the relationships that we are in not only to shape us more and more into the image of His Son, but also that we use what He has taught us to be able to reach out to others and be used by God as instruments of change in their lives.
I find that when I analyze my relationships, I judge them based on how smoothly the interaction is, the degree of conflict, and how good I feel about them. The chapter on agendas has been quite helpful as my understanding of relationships is beginning to undergo a paradigm shift. The selfishness of my agendas revealed by my current methods of relationship analysis shows where my heart is most of the time when it comes to my interaction with others. These self-centered agendas shape the way I choose to relate to people as well as the way I view myself personally and within the context of these relationships. There is a striking absence of Christ in these thoughts, as well. Therefore, I am not finding my functional identity in my Savior, nor am I consciously relating to others in a redemptive, God-honoring way.
When I consider all the relationships that I engage in, change seems overwhelming. There is so much room for change that the goal God sets for me seems like an impossibility to ever reach, and I often find myself complacent with where I am. However, I know and have witnessed in my life that God has other plans for me. So, He cranks up the heat in my life in order that I will have no other choice but to move forward in His strength, allowing Him to work the necessary change in my heart. Does this mean that every step I take is easy and effective? No, because I still sin as continue on this journey, but looking back the way has been rewarding. My relationships are still messy, but I see more and more that they are, indeed, a mess worth making.
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