The woman I interviewed is a 21 years old. She works in a home for the developmentally disabled caring for clients with severe behavioral problems. She is one of four children and a fraternal twin, and lives on her own. She battles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
She is in constant battle with obsessive thought cycles, but her obsessions usually begin in response to sensory overload. This most often occurs when she is with a lot of people and experiencing a lot of aural and visual stimulation. In these situations she says, “I get too hyper, then I crash”: her hyper-ness and adrenaline transform into anxiety, leading to obsessive behaviors. This anxiety is exacerbated when she experiences a great degree of situational change, i.e. going from a place of high stimulation to an empty, quiet room.
In her obsessions she experiences degrees of disequilibrium, and therefore feels the need to have some sort of evenness; she will rub her fingers either together or in equal measure on each hand, tap her feet to a steady rhythm, or stretch her neck to try to get an even feeling. Another way she responds to this disequilibrium is by physically busying herself to burn the excessive amounts of energy she feels in her head if her mind is racing; she will play piano or clean her house to calm her mind.
Her greatest ruling motive is a desire for control, stability in particular, especially in regard to controlling her thoughts. This manifests itself strongly in the fear of change. As pertains to interpersonal relationships she is motivated by desires for assurance, fear of loneliness, and fear of not being normal because of her psychological limitations.
Consequently, she can spend a lot of time simply battling with her obsessive thoughts, trying to regain control of her mind and life. She has difficulty paying attention in church and during lectures, and rarely reads although she would love to do so. Because of her personal fears and insecurities she needs constant acceptance and reassurance which sometime puts strain on her interpersonal relationships; this also results in co-dependency and people-pleasing.
A GRACE-FILLED FOUNDATION
In counseling this woman, I would identify with her in her struggles and lay out a Biblical foundation applicable to her life and mine, then seek to apply specific truths directly to her struggles so she can use them when she finds herself in the middle of her obsessions.
Reversing Paul’s argument found in Titus 2:11-14 teaches us to grow in grace through Christ. God, wanting us to do good works, calls us into special relationship with Himself, purifies us, and thereby redeems us from lawless deeds. He is able to do this because Christ gave Himself for us (14). This process of redemption will be completed at the glorious appearing of Christ; therefore we should look forward to that day and the blessed hope that awaits us (13). And yet he does want us to live godly, uprightly, and self-controlled lives until that day comes. God Himself teaches us how to live this way by saying “no” to our ungodly desires (12). God makes this possible through His saving grace which is available for us all (11).
So, we have identified the foundation on which to fight our struggles: we must begin with grace. Grace is receiving from God that which we do not deserve. The Lord calls us to a life of godliness; but as sinners we do not have the capacity in and of ourselves to fulfill this call. Therefore, God by His grace is in the process of perfecting us, conforming us to the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29). Jesus Christ, therefore, is the ultimate example we ought to follow in our lives.
Christ endured the shame and suffering of the cross in our stead. He did so, looking ahead, beyond the cross, to the joy and the glory that awaited Him (Heb. 12:2). This future He offers to us also, and by His grace He is preparing us for it. This future is sure since He has purchased it for us (1 Pet. 1:3-5). God saves us for that end only because of His sovereign love for us; therefore it does not matter what limitations we have; our past lives are irrelevant in this regard. He came to save us from ourselves. By His grace and good pleasure God accepts us in the beloved not because of any good in us, but for the glory of His own Name (Eph. 1:6). In Christ we experience the perfect love and acceptance of His Father.
Through Jesus we have “all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Pet. 1:3-4). By the power of this promised grace we can have victory over our ungodly desires. When we recognize that we are operating out of ungodly desires God is willing to speak His grace into our lives so we can depend on Him and find our rest and identity in Him.
Therefore, when my counselee feels insecure, she can find rest and stability in God: He is her Rock of Refuge and Fortress of Defense (Ps. 31:2); when she faces the uncertainties of the future, she can rest in the promise of eternal certainties: Christ prayed that she would be with Him in glory, and He is now preparing a place for her there (John 17:24, 14:2); when she fears she is different or not normal, when she is afraid of what others think of her, she can recall that Jesus loves her and accepts her for who she is: she is one with Him and He is not ashamed to call her His sister (Heb. 2:11); when she lives for the affirmation of other people, she can rest in the knowledge that she has already been accepted by Christ, chosen from before the foundation of the world: he accepts her in Him, her Beloved (Eph 1:6); when she experiences change and is anxious, restless, and unsettled, God reveals that He is near and promises that He will be with her: He will never leave her nor forsake her (Heb. 13:5; c.f. Phil. 4:5); moreover, the Lord promises that the peace of God will guard her heart and mind; and even more awesome, that when she lives for His glory, meditating on Him, the God of Peace Himself will be with her! (Phil. 4:6-9).
One day she will be with Him where there will be not more fear, nor more anxiety, and no more uncertainty. She will no longer have to fight against herself; the complete victory Christ promises her will be realized. God is perfecting her now for that future. He puts her in situations where she fears, feels out of control, and needs to depend on Him, so that He, by His grace, can draw her close to Himself giving her foretastes of the life to come. He gives her grace today to face the struggles that are preparing her for a bright tomorrow.
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