Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s love for Christ and His people are very evident in his book Life Together. Some aspects of this book I found difficult to follow, since his definitions were not always clear, and the language he uses to describe aspects of the church were unfamiliar to me, which provided a challenge to the fluidity of the reading. However, Bonhoeffer gave me some new insights into the life of the Church and also into my own life that need to change. My unthankfulness to God and my pride, yes, my sin in general, do affect the Body of Christ in ways that I often do not realize.
One of the most profound aspects of this book I found to be his discourse on growth within the Church community. I was convicted once again because I want to have great faith, and great knowledge, and great love for God and others, great this and great that, and I want it all instantaneously. When I see that I do not have these Christian virtues in large measure, I so often see myself as a failure, as less of a Christian than others are. Lamentably, at this point of discovery I often blame God: I ask for big things knowing that He is able to bless me beyond imagining, and I have not received them in the way I think God should work, so I blame Him.
Bonhoeffer uncovers the truth behind my self-righteous pride. He reveals that I “prevent God from giving [me] the great spiritual gifts He has in store for [me], because [I] do not give thanks for daily gifts” (29). Growth in grace is simply that: growth. This growth is gradual, not immediate. However, the influences of an instant-gratification society have affected the way I sometimes deal with God: like a fast-food drive-thru.
Consequently, I not only treat God as my own personal vending machine, but I miss out on all the splendor of His gracious providence in the little things of everyday life. I take for granted all the rich blessings He bestows upon me everyday. This has a tremendous impact on my own spirituality as well as the Church as a whole.
My unthankfulness and self-aggrandizement leave me at odds with God, often complaining about my spiritual state as though it was His fault. At this point, I need to realize that the lack of growth in my life is because of this sin of unthankfulness. God wants first of all for me to be faithful in the little things before I will be ready to handle bigger and better things.
Not only is my relationship with Almighty God disrupted, but my relationship with fellow believers is affected also. When I do not acknowledge the gifts that God has given me, and when I feel too insignificant or unworthy to share the things that God has taught me, I hinder growth in the Church that otherwise would occur if I did speak up. I am not allowing myself to be used by God in the situations He has chosen to place me in. Thus, I am unwilling to be used by God for the edification of His people.
Therefore, I must start listening to the voice of truth that says that God is worthy to be thanked and praised for even what I consider to be the little (and often insignificant) things. When I recognize that these blessings come from the fullness that is to be found only in Him, and when I realize that I do not deserve even these, I can and will be willing to share these blessings with other, and encourage them to see God in the little things in life. Then I shall be able to truly have communion with God and my fellow believers.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Building Entry Gates with Children
The following are possible activities to create entry gates with children to begin to build a trusting and safe relationship:
1. Have the first meeting with parents and child in a fast food restaurant. This would give an opportunity to view the child relating with the parents, and begin the counseling relationship in a fun and unintimidating way.
2. Ask the child to bring his or her favorite toy or personal treasure. This will give the child something of his/her own, something familiar to accompany him/her in the session. Insight can be gained by asking the child why he/she chose to bring that particular item.
3. Make a list of the child’s favorite things: e.g., color, food (snack, drink, fruit, pizza topping, ice cream flavor, etc.), sport, toy, TV show, movie, hobby, school subject, car, dream vacation, game, etc.- a fun activity that will tell a lot about the child.
4. Ask the child to make something out of play-do. This is a fun activity that will allow you to asses the child’s creative abilities. The object made can further be used to create a story with the child that reflects an aspect of the child’s life that he/she finds significant.
5. Do ‘either-or’ activity, where child has to make a choice of preference between two things. Create a list of paired activities, people, or things and ask the child to choose one or the other according to his/her preference. Any striking choices can be discussed in more detail.
6. Create an environment that is familiar to children of various ages. Have kid-size furniture, bookshelves with children’s books, activity centers, toys, etc. A more familiar and comfortable environment will help put the child at ease. Allow the child to explore this new environment to get used to the space; observing what captures the child’s attention can give you insights into the child’s temperament and/or developmental levels.
7. Have the child finish a story you have started- allow them to draw pictures to accompany the story, or to relate to after the story is complete regarding an aspect of the story that sticks out in the child’s mind. The story ought to be gender specific and age appropriate, dealing with an issue similar to the one you know the child is facing so the child can begin to identify with the character in the story, as well as be able to add his or her own details without the character actually being the child.
8. Have a number of Activity Books for the child to work on. Allow the child to choose activities of his/her liking to work on for fun. Observing the decision making skills of the child and the level of difficulty/type of activity will give insight into the cognitive level and temperament of the child.
9. Do a memory matching game, but with a twist. Whoever makes a match gets to ask the other person a personal question. Allow the option for the one who answers to have the right to choose to not answer, in case a question is inappropriate or too uncomfortable. Will be able to: assess the child’s memory skills; ask important questions in a fun setting; find out what might be on the child’s mind (e.g. possible fears) coming into a counseling session; demonstrate your own vulnerability to the child to help gain openness and trust; establish appropriate boundaries.
10. Read through some very short stories of children in various situations and have the child identify what emotion the child in the story might be feeling. Can use pictures of children with a myriad of expressions that the child can use to match the emotion they have identified with a perceived facial expression. Asses the child’s ability to identify emotions; any feelings the child has particular difficulty pointing out or that the child identifies strongly with will provide opportunity for further discussion/investigation.
11. Draw a family portrait. Make it colorful. Ask why the child chose the colors he or she did for each individual. An understanding of the child’s view of his/her family will be gained.
12. Paint 2 pictures, one of something that makes the child happy, and one that makes the child sad. This is a fun activity that will allow the child to express key emotions, both positive and negative. Allowing the child to explain the pictures when completed will allow the child to express his/her feelings in a less direct and perhaps more abstract way.
13. Have a candy bowl to reward children after a session with them. Not to be used as a reward system for a good session, because the child may not have the same thoughts about a particular session. Also, you do not want to discourage the child after a not-so-good session. This small reward can be something for the child to look forward to at the end of each session.
14. Use an assortment of background music to help set the mood for the session. Different styles of music can help the child adjust to the various different activities done in the session.
15. Begin the session with a very general question and answer session. Ask the child to explain why he/she is meeting with you. Allow the child opportunity to ask questions about you and your work. This opportunity will allow you to establish boundaries for future sessions; be certain to assure and reassure the child that the environment in which you meet is safe and that you are there only to help him/her. Let him/her know that he/she is not the only child that has come in to see you, so that the child does not feel singled out.
1. Have the first meeting with parents and child in a fast food restaurant. This would give an opportunity to view the child relating with the parents, and begin the counseling relationship in a fun and unintimidating way.
2. Ask the child to bring his or her favorite toy or personal treasure. This will give the child something of his/her own, something familiar to accompany him/her in the session. Insight can be gained by asking the child why he/she chose to bring that particular item.
3. Make a list of the child’s favorite things: e.g., color, food (snack, drink, fruit, pizza topping, ice cream flavor, etc.), sport, toy, TV show, movie, hobby, school subject, car, dream vacation, game, etc.- a fun activity that will tell a lot about the child.
4. Ask the child to make something out of play-do. This is a fun activity that will allow you to asses the child’s creative abilities. The object made can further be used to create a story with the child that reflects an aspect of the child’s life that he/she finds significant.
5. Do ‘either-or’ activity, where child has to make a choice of preference between two things. Create a list of paired activities, people, or things and ask the child to choose one or the other according to his/her preference. Any striking choices can be discussed in more detail.
6. Create an environment that is familiar to children of various ages. Have kid-size furniture, bookshelves with children’s books, activity centers, toys, etc. A more familiar and comfortable environment will help put the child at ease. Allow the child to explore this new environment to get used to the space; observing what captures the child’s attention can give you insights into the child’s temperament and/or developmental levels.
7. Have the child finish a story you have started- allow them to draw pictures to accompany the story, or to relate to after the story is complete regarding an aspect of the story that sticks out in the child’s mind. The story ought to be gender specific and age appropriate, dealing with an issue similar to the one you know the child is facing so the child can begin to identify with the character in the story, as well as be able to add his or her own details without the character actually being the child.
8. Have a number of Activity Books for the child to work on. Allow the child to choose activities of his/her liking to work on for fun. Observing the decision making skills of the child and the level of difficulty/type of activity will give insight into the cognitive level and temperament of the child.
9. Do a memory matching game, but with a twist. Whoever makes a match gets to ask the other person a personal question. Allow the option for the one who answers to have the right to choose to not answer, in case a question is inappropriate or too uncomfortable. Will be able to: assess the child’s memory skills; ask important questions in a fun setting; find out what might be on the child’s mind (e.g. possible fears) coming into a counseling session; demonstrate your own vulnerability to the child to help gain openness and trust; establish appropriate boundaries.
10. Read through some very short stories of children in various situations and have the child identify what emotion the child in the story might be feeling. Can use pictures of children with a myriad of expressions that the child can use to match the emotion they have identified with a perceived facial expression. Asses the child’s ability to identify emotions; any feelings the child has particular difficulty pointing out or that the child identifies strongly with will provide opportunity for further discussion/investigation.
11. Draw a family portrait. Make it colorful. Ask why the child chose the colors he or she did for each individual. An understanding of the child’s view of his/her family will be gained.
12. Paint 2 pictures, one of something that makes the child happy, and one that makes the child sad. This is a fun activity that will allow the child to express key emotions, both positive and negative. Allowing the child to explain the pictures when completed will allow the child to express his/her feelings in a less direct and perhaps more abstract way.
13. Have a candy bowl to reward children after a session with them. Not to be used as a reward system for a good session, because the child may not have the same thoughts about a particular session. Also, you do not want to discourage the child after a not-so-good session. This small reward can be something for the child to look forward to at the end of each session.
14. Use an assortment of background music to help set the mood for the session. Different styles of music can help the child adjust to the various different activities done in the session.
15. Begin the session with a very general question and answer session. Ask the child to explain why he/she is meeting with you. Allow the child opportunity to ask questions about you and your work. This opportunity will allow you to establish boundaries for future sessions; be certain to assure and reassure the child that the environment in which you meet is safe and that you are there only to help him/her. Let him/her know that he/she is not the only child that has come in to see you, so that the child does not feel singled out.